A question, if I may:
What happens when you give a drunk person a pair of clippers? And no, I don't mean the basketball team (wth, anyway - that doesn't make any sense, you son of a bitch!).
Let's get further into it - let's say this drunk person, me, persay - had... ermm.. has... fucking tense.... very long hair, which has been commented on many-a-time, by various different people.
Well, for safety's sake, please do not give that drunk individual the clippers (especially not if you're referring to the basketball team - who knows WHAT would happen...).
He just may well end up drunkenly, on a whim, cutting his own hair. And, lord knows, that will not end up well. I mean - perhaps he'll have a good time while doing the cutting, but, then again, doesn't he pretty much always have a good time while being drunk anyway? (we're not counting the bouts of uncontrollable crying, of course. That doesn't count - and you said you'd never mention that anyway, you son of a...)
Perhaps he even, before taking a shower, thinks the haircut looks pretty darn good. And even after the shower - he combs his hair, looks his new 'do over in the fogged up mirrors, and smiles contentedly.
But then, a few hours later, after the drinks magical powers have recessed, and the hair has dried, he goes back into the bathroom to vomit, and catches a glimpse of himself in the mirror - and he can't help feeling like he resembles a psychotic inmate in a horror movie who cut his own hair with shards of a broken mirror.
It's that bad. Really. Chunks here and there, and a decaying corpse in the background.
But I digress again.
The point is, my dear friends, do not let the drunkard enter the bathroom with a razor - be it an electric one for cutting long hairs, or the tiny sliver of metal designed for cutting arteries. The end result is always quite bad.
But life goes on. (except for the one that brought the sliver of metal razor.... unless the hindu's are right. in that case ---- moo like a mofo)
I'll - I mean the Drunkard will keep his hair as it is for the time being. Because - I mean, really. It's just fucking hair. Dead skin, and all that. Besides - who do I - I mean The Drunkard - have to impress anyway?
BAH!
