Stepping out of the car, feeling the rust on the door scratch lovingly against his fingers, he breathed in the hot desert air. The keys shone, still hanging in the ignition, as he shut the door gently, relishing the hard metallic sound of it closing, for the last time by his hands.
A single cactus stood at the horizon, it's arms waving at him, beckoning him onward. And so he walked.
The dust stirred, danced, and died with his every footstep. A sweat broke out on the nape of his neck, beads of moisture appearing and dissipating in the hot dry air. Somewhere nearby the rattle of a predator whispered its poetic song, only to be ignored and left behind.
Wearing the same suit he had been in for days, he took off his glasses and set them upon an ancient rock - a stone monolith that had stood guard, fending off the nothingness for centuries.
Cold in the summer heat, he walked onwards with no one to watch his travels. Many thoughts, visions, passed before his eyes.
The shape of her face, the nose she always thought was too big, but he found beautiful, her hair, dangling precariously in front of her eyes. Standing on the pier, silhouetted by the rising sun.
Her hand in his, cold and nervous with anticipation.
The sweat on her brow, the screams of pain and purest joy.
The quiet happiness he thought they shared. An old house down a dusty road, in a town no one anywhere else had heard of.
The closing door, and the silence - that epic silence that filled eternity.
He blinked away the tears - and the memories he didn't want with him any longer.
The cactus waved, ever so slightly closer.
Miles away a car roared to life, in a city filled with bustle. Somewhere in that city, a woman was just waking, still tired from her night-shift at the diner. Her sleep and life arrested by the arrival of a joyous bundle.
He could hear them, even now. In the rustle of the morning wind, hot and mournful. He could smell the sugary sweetness of her perfume, lilac and gardenias. It carried with it her whispers, of nevers and forevers. The incandescent light was blinding.
The wind kicked up, swirls of dust and debris. In a dust devil he thought he saw a thief, mocking and beckoning.
A plastic bag flittered by, bringing reality back into focus. His car, bought at a used car lot, stood as a dot behind him. The cactus ahead seemed infinitely far away. The last of his money had been spent - there was nothing left to leave, a thought that filled him with remorse.
She would just be starting her day now, he knew. First a breakfast - something simple, eggs and toast, would be prepared. Then a lunch packed, for a child that would never know his name. Then a trip to a public school, filled with minor miracles and tragedies, none of which he would be there for. Then some uneasy sleep, before waking for a day of drudgery. Then cat-calls and nondescript abuse, before returning to uneasy sleep - after preparing a frozen dinner and, if time permitted, a story written in a nondescript notebook. And the whole thing would repeat itself, except for the occasional exception.
He walked into the desert, his suit-coat soaking dust and sweat. Tears dried before they left the eyes - better that way. They were undeserved.
The cactus, just a marker, stood on the horizon still, seemingly no closer than it had been hours ago. The glint of steel from his automobile was as distant as the north star, and as unattainable.
In the abyss, in the middle of nowhere, his thoughts turned towards life.
A child in his mother's arms, a teenager standing on a street-corner, holding the love of his life in his hands, kissing her tenderly. A man, leaving a one-room apartment, going to work, only wanting to get back in time to hold her in his arms before she leaves for her night. A married man, coming home, briefcase in hand, all thoughts of outside responsibilities evaporating at the sight of her. An old man, in his rocking chair, her empty chair beside him, her things left untouched...
The sun shone brightly, blindingly. Jealousy, sadness, longing, grief - all fell aside. The sun cleansed all.
He walked onward, a calm peace descending, even has his knees grew weak, and the day descended into blackness.
